Sign over a Gynecologist's  Office:

" Dr. Jones, at your cervix,"…

 

Sign in a Podiatrist's Office:

" Time wounds all Heels"…'

 

Sign on a Septic Tank Truck:

" Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"…

 

On a Proctologists Door:

" To expedite your visit, please back in.."

 

At an Optometrist's Office:

" If you don't see what your looking for, You've come to the right place"…

 

On a Plumber's truck:

" We repair what your husband fixed"…

 

On another Plumber's truck:

" Don't sleep with a drip. Call your Plumber"…

 

On a Church Billboard:

" 7 days without God makes one weak"

 

At a Tire Shop:

"Invite us to your next blowout"…

 

At a Towing Co. :

" We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows"

 

On a Electrician's Truck:

" Let us remove your shorts"…

 

On a Maternity Room Door:

" Push. Push. Push"…

 

On a Taxidermist's window:

" We really know our stuff"…

 

On a Fence:

"  Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive"…

 

At a car Dealership:

" The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment"…

 

On a Muffler Shop door:

" No appointment necessary. We hear you coming"…

 

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

Be back in 5 minutes. Sit. Stay."

 

At the Electric Company office:

" We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be"…

 

In a Restaurant Window:

" Don't just stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up":…

 

In front of a funeral home:

" Please drive carefully. We'll wait"…

 

At a Propane Filling station:

" Thank heaven for little grills"…

 

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank truck.

" Caution. This truck is full of Political Promises"…

 

Sign on a Radiator Shop:

" Best place in town to take a leak"…

I always think of the gynecologist that had "A hard day at the orifice."